Author, Tenisha Collins, talks to us about why she wrote The Sex Dare and how it has bought a lot of happiness and bliss for many married couples.
What made you write The Sex Dare?
I was talking to a group of wives and one said, “I don’t care what he does as long as he pays the mortgage.” I was dumbfounded and saddened. Why would any wife say such a thing? Who wilfully invites infidelity into their marriage? I was also hearing the same theme when counselling with wives; they were in sexless marriages! It made me think of my younger years of marriage when I was an overwhelmed housewife with small children and I didn’t have any energy or desire for sex. I had to learn, the hard way, that there are many trials in marriage and intimacy can be lost when you fail to fight the case. Once I gained the tools to build a #StrongMarriage, my husband and I have been in a blissful relationship every since. I wrote this book to let wives know that with the right tools, their relationship will flourish and, they too, will enjoy great sex!
Can you share a snippet from The Sex Dare that isn’t in the blurb?
“Romance is the excitement of the chase, the remoteness from everyday life. It’s that mystery; the courting stage of the relationship that’s saturated with infatuation, desire and all the awesome feelings you get when someone is into you. …Romance helps you stay in that honeymoon stage and handle the responsibilities of everyday life. It keeps you both close, always thinking about one another and ready when the time comes! It’s exciting and is yet another way to express how important your spouse is to you.”
What has been the highlight of writing this book?
It’s been a blast sharing with wives that it is more than OK to enjoy having sex with their own husbands. It’s been enlightening to share with husbands that they should listen to their wives, giving them equal say in decision-making and reminding them that Christian husbands are to submit to their wives just like Christian wives are to submit to their husbands.
Do you think a lot of people are hesitant to talk about the subject of your book?
I think there are a lot of folks who are hesitant to talk about God and sex in the same breath! Sex was created by God as a gift to a husband and his own wife but society has sorta blocked that #truth from mainstream thought.
What has been the general feedback from readers and is there a success story you can share?
Readers are satisfied! Pun intended! There is someone who I am excited for: a young lady who reminded me of myself when my children were small. After she explained her situation, I knew my book could help her. She and I shared the same story — too busy, too tired and paired with partners with sex drives on the opposite end of the spectrum. Recognising that the biggest sex organ is the mind, I began to change my mind about sex and intimacy. I began to confess what I wanted to see in my marriage. Now hubby and I cannot keep our hands off one another and we are thoroughly enjoying a #StrongMarriage. She is currently reading The Sex Dare and says she can relate to every devotion. She’s working the process and seeing a change. I’m excited for her.
Did it take you long to write your book or is this something that came very easy to you?
It took me a while to complete the book because I wanted to be absolutely sure that God was speaking to me, telling me what was needed to help couples have more intimacy and great sex. I needed His guidance and stamp of approval on each devotion. Editing the book took about two months as well. You can have a great book but if you leave out words, incorrectly spell some words, forget punctuation or have lots of run on sentences, it will be too difficult to comprehend the message. With this sensitive subject, I needed the right words and good editing!
Do you think you will write another book of the same genre?
Helping couples build and maintain a #StrongMarriage is my passion, so you can definitely look for more books on this topic — starting November 12, 2020!
What kind of age bracket do readers of this book tend to be?
It’s intended for any age in which a person is considering marriage but I’d say 18 and up. This book is for singles preparing themselves for marriage. It’s for couples who are dating with the purpose of marrying. It’s definitely for engaged couples and folks who are already married.
Has anything come as a surprise to you since launching your book?
I did not think I would like going places to speak on this topic. I have always enjoyed discussing sex with other women but never saw myself before audiences. However after I saw the need for it and the resulting transformation in marriages, I’m pumped to proclaim my message to whomever will listen.
The Cure for Adolescence: Applying Biblical Principles to your Daily Life: A Parent and Me Devotional
Now for something a little different - let's talk about the other successful book as titled above from Tenisha Collins.
What inspired you to write The Cure for Adolescence?
As a mom of four, I needed help training my kids during certain phases of their growth. Some phases were funny but tiresome and others were almost hell; I wished for a manual. One of the most important things to me was making sure my kids loved God. It is easier when they are small and when your environment is controlled but as they grew older, it became a challenge to control them and their environment. God spoke to me and told me to write a children’s book series that allowed parents to lead their children to the Lord. I wrote it and then lost the entire series when we relocated to California. I thought my dreams of writing a book were over until God used mentors and family members to press upon me to write what was inside of me. I wanted to help other parents and grandparents with the most important thing — helping their kids develop a
relationship with God. As I sat down at my computer, all of our family experiences spilled out and God showed me how each scenario pointed to Him. I wanted to show parents how easy it can be to spend quality time with your kids while training them to have a relationship with God.
What research did you have to do?
All I needed for this book was the Word of God, my experiences and His revelation. I did have to ask the kids about certain details in some scenarios to make sure everything was true as well as get their permission to release private information about their upbringing.
Have you had many reviews of this book and what have they been like? Any success stories to share?
Most of the reviews I’ve received are on Goodreads and some are on Amazon. Every reader is a success story! What is better than spending quality time with your kids, sharing spiritual and natural knowledge, engaging in real conversations with them? And, to top that, you are training them to make it a habit of spending time with God! That’s what the Bible calls good success!
What marketing strategies have worked best for you?
I focus on setting my goals for the month and the steps to achieve them. I do what I know to do and that which will help my audience. I do welcome suggestions and instructions from people knowledgeable in our craft. I have a group of author friends that I brainstorm with and I am involved with author groups where I receive encouragement and marketing ideas.
How does your faith/ethical outlook inform your writing?
My faith is not separated from anything I do. All my genres are Christian because I am a Christian.
What do your friends/family think of your books?
My family members are proud of my accomplishments and cheer me on. The kids blush a little about my Sex book, as they call it. My adult sons’ friends tease them about seeing my “Sex book” everywhere and get a good laugh in.
Is there another subject you’d like to write about?
I’m thinking about a book of short stories and a memoir. We will see!
How do you balance the demands of writing with other aspects of your life?
Balancing my work load is my biggest dilemma. I work part time outside of our home, I run my own business and then there’s my writing and course creation. I do, however, make sure that I drop everything whenever my husband is off work so we can nurture our relationship and enjoy our children and grandkiss. That’s what’s most important.
Have you other books in the pipeline that you hope to publish?
I have an ebook scheduled to launch 11/12/2020, my husband’s birthday! It’s called Marriage 101: The Basics of Sexy and it’s available for pre-orders NOW for just $8 via PayPal.Me/TenishaCollins! I also have plans to add a journal and workbook to accompany The Sex Dare: A Married Couples’ 21 Day Guide to Great Sex.
Do you self-publish or use a publishing company?
I am proud to say that all of my books are self-published.
Just for fun
What are you reading at the moment?
Because I am trying to make deadlines for several projects I have on my plate, I am only reading the Bible. In 2021, I plan on tackling one project at a time so I am free to finish all the wonderful books that I’ve purchased this year!
What was your favourite book as a child?
I did not have a favorite book as a child. I wish I could say that my favorite book as a child was the Bible. I can say that it has made the most impact in my life and was certainly the first book I ever read from cover to cover and remembered the majority of its contents.
Do you listen to audiobooks? If so, can you recommend any?
Normally I listened to my audiobooks while commuting to work but due to COVID, I am not in the car often. When I make time to listen to something, it’s usually worship music or my favorite Christian rapper, Bizzle. I do recommend the following books on Kindle (your iPhone will read it to you!): The Entries of the Black Sails by Rafael P. DeFreitas Jr., Behind the Seen by Frederick K. Price, Free From Silence by Ayanna Gallow, You Talk Too Much by Tanya DeFreitas and His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley. For Audible, the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child is a fascinating thriller!
Lastly, is there anything else you’d really like to share with our readers about you or the work you do?
It can be anything. My goal is to always produce content that will help marriages and families. In 2014, I founded a virtual marriage support group to do just that. Six years later and almost 1,000 members strong, I continue to create content that gives couples the tools to build and maintain a #StrongMarriage. I also offer my services as a marriage coach to help wives one-on-one, if needed. The group is open to singles who are preparing for marriage, couples who are dating with the purpose of marriage, engaged couples and, of course, married couples. It’s a great place to learn and grow. Feel free to join here: bit.ly/StrongMarriageFBGroup. I also email my VIPs every week. My VIPs are my subscribers, supporters and fans. They not only receive great tips but are the first to know about new books, service discounts, contests, events and deals. I enjoy engaging with my readers and always welcome feedback, suggestions and conversation. You can become a VIP by subscribing here: http://bit.ly/EmailMe2
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